Becoming a leader is a journey that often comes with challenges and uncomfortable truths. These revelations can be both eye-opening and daunting for those stepping into leadership roles for the first time. In this two-part series, we delve into the 13 uncomfortable realities that new leaders frequently encounter on their path to becoming effective and influential IT figures in their organizations.

In Part 1, we will explore leadership’s first seven challenging aspects. From the complexities of earning respect to navigating the fine line between being the good guy and the bad guy, each point offers valuable insights into the multifaceted world of leadership. 

As you go on this journey, remember that these realities are not meant to discourage but to equip you with the knowledge and strategies needed to overcome them. 

Let’s dive into the first set of uncomfortable truths and prepare you for the leadership role you’ve worked hard to attain.

Table of Contents

1. Reality #1 – Being a Leader Does Not Always Equate to Respect.
   1. History
   2. Work Culture
   3. Perceived Superiority
2. Reality #2 -You Have to Be Comfortable with Being Both the Good Guy and the Bad Guy.
3. Reality #3 -You Will Always Have at Least One Staff Member That Will Test the Waters.
4. Reality #4 -Being Loyal to Your Staff Does Not Mean That They Will Be Loyal to You.
   1. Balancing Relationships with Leadership Responsibilities
5. Reality #5 -Everyone Will Not Understand Your Vision or Your Decisions.
   1. Facing Criticism and Disagreement
6. Reality #6 -Taking on the Responsibility of Other People and Their Productivity Can Be Draining.
   1. Balancing Responsibilities
7. Reality #7 – Crap Rolls Down Hill, Uphill, and From the Sides Too.
   1. Developing Accountability as a Leadership Skill
8. Conclusion 

Reality #1 – Being a Leader Does Not Always Equate to Respect.

Although you may have the title, that does not mean your staff or co-workers will respect your role from the start. Many factors, seen and unseen, contribute to the feeling of having a new leader, such as history, work culture, and perceived superiority.

History

First, there is the history. It may be the past, but it affects the present. People can hold past experiences and assume that everyone else that comes along is the same. I can not tell you how often I walked into a new role where the previous leader was either a micromanager or didn’t care about their staff. Although I was new, some of those thoughts transferred to me, and it took time for my staff to learn that I moved differently from my predecessor.

Work Culture

Second, there is work culture. The company culture can make employees either feel valued or worthless. If the current work culture does not appreciate or respect the staff, it will show in your team’s actions. Before making any changes or implementing any rules, evaluate the culture. 

• Is there any structure? 
• Are the employees happy in their current roles? 
• Do they feel like their ideas or input is appreciated? 
• Did someone get put into positions but never receive a pay increase? 

All these questions play a part and are noted because they will give you insight into the environmental obstacles you will face.

Perceived Superiority

Third, there may be perceived superiority. I know, I know, you are probably wondering from who and why. Well, from anybody, really.

I am not saying to walk into your role guarded like a squirrel hoarding acorns for the winter, but be aware of the possibility. There is such a thing as a co-worker or staff member feeling something about you getting the position, which may or may not have anything to do with you. Maybe they thought that the position was entitled to them, or perhaps they feel that you aren’t worthy, or they may not like you because there is a new sheriff in town who does things differently. 

Whatever it may be, it is essential to learn about it, NOT RETALIATE, but be mindful, especially if you can feel the tension from that person. The best way to deal with situations like this is to give it time and, if necessary, address it professionally (we will discuss that later).

Overall, Gaining respect from your team takes time, and as a leader, you must remember to be patient, listen, communicate clearly, and learn the laws of the land. You may not automatically gain the respect of your team members, but the key is to stay steadfast, address these dynamics, and foster a positive working environment.

Reality #2 -You Have to Be Comfortable with Being Both the Good Guy and the Bad Guy.

So I am just going to say it. Not many people like being the bad guy; it’s just that sometimes the situation may call for it. For instance, let’s look at the villain in your favorite comic book. Typically, they start as pretty good people, then life happens, and BAM! There goes your villain arc story, and the world is in danger. Okay, this may be an extreme and comedic example, but there is some truth to it. There will be times when you, in all your good guy glory, will have to become the “bad” guy at some point.

Let’s define what I mean when I say “bad guy.” There will be times when you will have to make decisions that go against the popular desire of your team members. For example, you may have to discipline a staff member who may be a good person at heart but made a mistake that costs the company money. Or, you have to eliminate an accommodation temporarily until the team gets back on track. 

Basically, when I say to be okay with being the “bad guy,” I mean you must be okay with making difficult decisions and delivering difficult news. Being a leader is not always full of difficult situations, but you must prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for when the time comes.

Reality #3 -You Will Always Have at Least One Staff Member That Will Test the Waters.

Remember when I said, “Being a leader does not always equate to respect”? Yeah… this is a situation that can fall under that category as well. You will always have at least one person who will test the waters of your leadership. They will see what and how long they can get away with something before you respond. 

For example, you have a staff member who constantly challenges your decisions. It may be okay at first if you are looking for input, but at some point, it can get tiring, especially if you are not looking for insight and know what you want done. It is best to establish boundaries when you have situations like this (which you will). Do this by pulling them to the side and talking to them first. It’s essential to address such situations effectively and efficiently before they worsen.

Reality #4 -Being Loyal to Your Staff Does Not Mean That They Will Be Loyal to You.

This can be a tough cookie to chew, and I learned this from a few experiences. You may look at your staff as a family or as really good people, but the reality is that things can change under unforeseen circumstances. 

Balancing Relationships with Leadership Responsibilities

When I first started in management, I used to try to build a family-like environment. I would keep my door open for any questions and spend time with my staff to learn more about them, their needs, and their wants in the workplace. The problem came because I invested much time in getting to know them and less time on my leadership needs. I was so focused on wanting them to see that I had their backs, but by ignoring my primary role, it bit me in the butt. 

On the one hand, by focusing on them, I had built a great relationship with my team and a sense of loyalty, and this was true for some. On the other hand, this was not true. Only some people were happy with my approach. Reality hit when I faced surprise concerns and complaints that were told to my supervisor. It was then that I learned I needed to focus on being a leader instead of being liked by all. 

You must learn to balance building relationships with your staff and doing your job as a leader. Your staff will be loyal to you once they see you lead, but you also have to remember that some won’t, no matter how hard you try, but that is okay.

Reality #5 -Everyone Will Not Understand Your Vision or Your Decisions.

Another thing that you will have to do as a leader is make decisions, a vision, or a strategy to accomplish the desired goals of your supervisor or the organization. Although your choices may be well-meaning or best for the moment, it does not mean everyone will agree. 

For instance, you may have to change staff and assign individuals to other units. Although you can explain your purpose and goal behind it, you can still have staff who are upset with your decision and criticize you (in your face or behind your back). Yes, this can become frustrating, especially if you took a lot of time to decide; however, remember that it is not personal.

Facing Criticism and Disagreement

Everyone sees a solution from their point of view and availability of knowledge. What does that mean you ask? Every individual views problems and solutions through their unique lens of understanding and experience. This perspective is influenced by their role within the organization and their knowledge. As a leader, you bring your viewpoint, which may differ from that of your team members, depending on their positions and tenure. Recognizing these differences and the availability of various knowledge sources is critical to fostering understanding and collaboration within your team.

Ultimately, effective leadership involves:

• Making well-informed decisions.
• Communicating your rationale.
• Managing diverse perspectives to steer your team toward shared goals.
• Embracing these challenges and leveraging them as opportunities for growth will enhance your leadership journey.

Keeping this in mind, I keep my hand on the pulse as much as possible (with my staff and administrators) and make the best decision possible.

Reality #6 -Taking on the Responsibility of Other People and Their Productivity Can Be Draining.

Being a leader is beneficial, but it can take a lot out of you. Some people focus on the title. However, most people underestimate the emotional, mental, and physical aspects of being a leader. Let’s use parenthood as an example. As a mother, I have two teenagers and two babies that I am responsible for caring for.

Day in and day out, I am a provider for them, a transporter, a counselor, a disciplinarian, a nurturer, a cheerleader, and the list goes on and on. At the start of the week, I may be full of energy, but by the end of the week, I am drained because I put so much focus on everything that they needed in addition to things I needed to accomplish for work or school. Managing staff is similar.

Balancing Responsibilities

Now, you may not be feeding them or transporting them anywhere. However, your position may require you to be a decision-maker, a consultant, a cheerleader, a disciplinarian, a coach, etc. Now, multiply that group of responsibilities by, let’s say, five, 10, or 30 staff members. As you deal with the daily, you will feel drained over time.

Being in a leadership role means not just being the best for your staff but also being the best for yourself and your well-being. This is done by being honest and acknowledging when you have reached your peak as a leader mentally, emotionally, and physically. Be aware that you must take breaks, vacations, or quiet walks. Yes, being a leader has benefits, but not at the cost of your health and well-being.

Reality #7 – Crap Rolls Down Hill, Uphill, and From the Sides Too.

One intrinsic skill that a leader should have is accountability. This skill is imperative because you may have to take ownership of known and unknown situations. It goes beyond what you do; at times, you may have to take the hit from actions performed by your team. For instance, let’s say that one of your managers does not complete a project your supervisor asked your team to complete, and they told you nothing. You will likely be addressed first before it gets to the staff member because you are his supervisor.

In addition, this can happen in any direction as well. The call for accountability may come from your staff, supervisor, or customer. At times, this can suck, but it is a possibility that comes with the role. The caveat is that the more one becomes aware, the more one grows this skill. You will find it easier to hold others accountable as needed.

Developing Accountability as a Leadership Skill

Accountability is an indispensable skill that every leader should possess. It involves taking ownership of known and unforeseen situations, even when they result from actions taken by your team. While the responsibility of accountability can sometimes be challenging and demanding, it is an integral aspect of effective leadership. 

The more you develop and hone this skill, the better you’ll be able to hold others accountable when necessary. Over time, it will become valuable in your leadership toolkit, contributing to your growth and success. Embrace accountability to demonstrate your leadership qualities and commitment to excellence.

Conclusion 

As we conclude Part 1 of our series on the uncomfortable realities of being a new leader, we hope you’ve gained valuable insights into the challenges often accompanying leadership roles. From handling envy and perceived superiority to making tough decisions and dealing with resistance, these truths are essential for your growth and success as a leader.

Remember that leadership is a journey, not a destination. Embracing these realities and learning how to navigate them will ultimately make you a more decisive, more effective leader. 

Part 2 will explore the remaining six truths, providing a comprehensive guide to leadership excellence. So, stay tuned for more valuable lessons and strategies as you continue your leadership journey.