Welcome back to the second installment of our series on the uncomfortable realities of being a new leader. In Part 1, we explored the initial seven challenges new leaders often face, from earning respect to making tough decisions. Now, in Part 2, we continue our journey into the world of leadership by examining the remaining six truths that can shape your leadership experience.

Leadership is a multifaceted role that demands adaptability, resilience, and continuous learning. As you read through these insights, remember that they are not meant to deter you but to empower you with the knowledge to thrive as a leader. Whether you’re navigating uncertainty, mastering the art of communication, or simply embracing your own humanity in a leadership role, each point offers valuable lessons that can help you succeed.

So, without further ado, let’s dive into the second set of uncomfortable yet enlightening realities that new leaders encounter on their path to leadership excellence.

Table of Contents

1. You Will Not Always Have the Right Answers or Have Enough Information for Decision Making.
2. You Have to Be Honest About the Capabilities of Your Team.
3. Being a Leader Can Be Lonely. You Need an Outlet to Process It All.
4. You Don’t Know Your Operations the Way You Think You Do.
5. You Have to Become a Master at Wordplay.
6. You Are Human Too… Even When Others Don’t Think You Are.
7. Conclusion:

You Will Not Always Have the Right Answers or Have Enough Information for Decision Making.

Making decisions, especially when it affects others, is scary. As a leader, you are the captain of your ship and will be faced with daily decision-making. You will be sought out for advice, input, and final decisions because the buck stops with you. You will have to make decisions with little to no information or with the input of a trusted (or not-so-trusted) team member. With so much uncertainty and incomplete information, you must learn to adapt and gain practical decision-making skills. Such as:

• Emotional Intelligence: Manage your emotions and those of others around you, which is essential when decisions impact team morale and dynamics.
• Critical Thinking: Analyze situations logically and evaluate all aspects critically to effectively navigate the sea of uncertainty.
• Data-Driven Analysis: Utilize data to support your decisions, ensuring they are well-grounded and not just based on assumptions.
• Problem-Solving: Identifying the root causes of issues and addressing them directly is crucial when you have limited information.

Starting with these skills will not guarantee the right decision every time, but it will put you in a space where you are comfortable and confident in your choices.

You Have to Be Honest About the Capabilities of Your Team.

This was a harsh realization for me. When I first started in leadership and even a few years in, I tended to see people in their current roles and not at their actual value. Sounds harsh, right? Well, let me explain.

I am not a micromanager, and at first I believed that if you were given a role, you should know your responsibilities and report on your progress with little encouragement from me. So, if someone was deemed a manager, I would trust that they would know what to do in their respective role when dealing with their duties or staff members. I trusted that since they were given that role, they would need minimal oversight; if they needed help, they would simply ask.

I didn’t think much of it until I was burned by a couple of experiences where my staff members didn’t do what they were supposed to, and I found out when everything came crashing down. This was very frustrating, but it reminded me of a valuable lesson: Trust but verify and be honest with the reality. Everyone has limitations and unique capabilities.

As a leader, you must learn to identify the capabilities and limitations of your team members and tailor your approach to better fit their individual needs. For instance, after realizing my previous oversight approach wasn’t practical, I started implementing regular one-on-one meetings with each team member. During these meetings, I discuss their progress and challenges and seek to understand their aspirations and any support they might need. This shift has prevented issues from escalating and helped build a more engaged and proactive team. Our communication has improved, and I am more in tune with the dynamics of my department. Failing to adapt earlier led to misunderstandings and crises, but now, we are more aligned and responsive as a group.

Thus, a good leader must place trust in their team and engage actively, providing the right balance of autonomy and oversight.

Being a Leader Can Be Lonely. You Need an Outlet to Process It All.

“Friends…

How many of us have them?

Friends

Ones we can depend on

Friends…”

Written by one of the hip-hop legends, Whodini, these first few lines from the song “Friends” speak volumes to me. Being a leader can sometimes feel lonely. It’s not necessarily because you are physically alone, but you might often think no one around can genuinely relate to your experiences. Your family and friends may offer support and listen to your daily stresses, but it’s not always the same as speaking with someone who understands your role’s specific challenges and dynamics.

As you grow in leadership, you must surround yourself with peers who share your experiences and challenges. For example, getting to know other directors becomes beneficial and necessary if you are a Director. Such connections provide valuable outlets for support and reflection. They can offer advice based on real understanding and shared experiences, which can be both comforting and practically useful.

Seeking out and building relationships within your professional community can mitigate the isolation that often comes with leadership positions. These relationships can be a source of support. Whether through formal networks, professional groups, or less formal gatherings. By cultivating these connections, you enrich your personal support system and enhance your capacity to lead effectively, armed with insights and encouragement from those who walk a similar path.

You Don’t Know Your Operations the Way You Think You Do.

Whenever I begin a new leadership role, I assess the environment for the first 6 months to a year. I observe the people, systems, and technology during this time before making any major changes. This helps me understand how things are, and it helps me get to know my team. This practice has served me well; however, I recently had an experience that made me realize that my observations were not deep enough in some cases. There were some things I missed. For example, remember earlier when I spoke about knowing the capabilities of your team? Well, this goes hand in hand with that. Since I trusted my management team to do what they needed, I didn’t take the time to work with them to see how they ran their operations. From the outside, I thought my management team had it all together; however, as they started leaving and seeking opportunities, the curtain fell. I started realizing things such as undocumented processes, single points of failure, unfinished projects, hidden technology, side agreements, accommodations that should have been brought to my attention, and so on.

This revelation was humbling and illuminated the limitations of my initial approach. It underscored the need for a more hands-on engagement in the early stages of my leadership roles. It reminded me of the importance of humility and a continuous learning mindset. Leadership is not just about overseeing; it’s about diving deep, understanding the intricacies of operations, and acknowledging that you don’t know everything when you step into a new role. Each team member has unique insights and knowledge that, if overlooked, can lead to gaps in understanding and operational inefficiencies.

To adapt, I’ve shifted my approach to be more integrative and collaborative. Now, I spend time working directly with different levels of staff, not just to observe but to engage and learn from them. This hands-on involvement allows me to identify and address hidden issues more effectively and fosters a culture of openness and mutual respect.

Embracing humility and maintaining a learner’s mindset is essential for any leader. They allow us to remain open to new ideas and continuous improvement and remind us that leadership is a journey, not a destination. By continually seeking to understand and learn, we enhance our skills and inspire those around us to strive for excellence.

You Have to Become a Master at Wordplay.

Another skill I learned as a leader is that you must master the “gift of gab.” Because you are at the head of your unit or department, you must be aware of what you say and how you say it, both verbally and non-verbally. You must also learn to convey your feelings—positive or negative—while maintaining emotional intelligence. As a leader, you are held to a higher standard and expectation than most, so wordplay is key.

Effective communication goes beyond mere words; it involves understanding the nuances of language and how it can affect others. This means choosing the right words and considering the tone, timing, and context in which they are delivered. For instance, the same message can be perceived differently depending on whether it’s offered in a calm, respectful manner or a hurried, dismissive tone.

Moreover, leaders must be adept at reading between the lines—understanding what is not said is often as important as what is. This involves sensitivity to the team’s non-verbal cues and emotional undercurrents, which can provide insights into their true feelings and concerns.

Another crucial aspect of communication in leadership is consistency. Your team looks to you for guidance and stability; inconsistent messages can confuse and erode trust. Therefore, ensuring that your communication is clear, respectful, and consistent across all interactions is vital.

By honing these communication skills, leaders can foster a more inclusive and supportive environment that encourages open dialogue and mutual respect. This helps resolve conflicts, builds team cohesion, and enhances overall productivity and morale. Thus, mastering the art of communication is not just about making oneself understood but also about understanding others and bringing out the best in them.

You Are Human Too… Even When Others Don’t Think You Are.

Yes, you (may) get paid the big bucks and are in charge, but ultimately, you are still human. Sometimes, people get so tied up in titles and roles that they forget that the people in those roles have feelings, too. Instead, we are treated as superheroes (or villains) and are expected to make decisions without considering others. They don’t understand or see the big picture, nor do they see or know the things you know.

It’s important to remember that while leadership does come with its unique set of pressures and expectations, it doesn’t strip you of your humanity. The challenge is maintaining your own well-being while managing the responsibilities of your role. This can sometimes mean taking a step back to reflect on not only the operational and strategic aspects of your position but also the personal and emotional ones.

Leaders can combat this dehumanization by fostering an environment where vulnerability is not seen as a weakness but as a part of being human. Encouraging open conversations about challenges, failures, and pressures can help break down the barriers that titles and roles often build. It’s also crucial for leaders to set boundaries and seek support when needed, whether through professional help, peer support groups, or simply leaning on loved ones.

By doing so, you remind others of your humanity and reinforce the understanding that everyone, regardless of their position, deserves empathy and respect. This approach humanizes you in the eyes of your team and models healthy emotional habits for them to emulate, which can enhance the overall well-being and effectiveness of the entire group.

Conclusion:

Well, there you have it! The “13 the Uncomfortable Realities of Being a New Leader.” As we wrap up our two-part series, I hope you now have a deeper understanding of the challenges and complexities that come with leadership roles. From navigating uncertainty to mastering the art of wordplay and embracing your humanity, these insights are essential for your growth and success as a leader.

Leadership is a dynamic and evolving journey, and your ability to adapt and learn from these uncomfortable truths will set you on a path to excellence. Remember that being a leader is not about being perfect but about continually improving and positively impacting your team and organization. As you embark on this leadership adventure, we encourage you to face these realities head-on and use them as stepping stones toward your leadership goals.