Imposter Syndrome can affect anyone at any stage of their IT career. A mental hurdle often overlooked amidst the pursuit of success, it can creep up on us like a breeze of autumn wind. When I first heard the term, I didn’t think much of it or think it would happen to me. Little did I know that I would become a victim of the imposter syndrome monster. In this post, I will talk about “imposter syndrome” and how it affected me during my transition into tech.
Table of Contents
- Understanding Imposter Syndrome
- My Experience with Imposter Syndrome
- Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
- Conclusion
- References
Understanding Imposter Syndrome
This phenomenon, though sounding unbelievable, is a real struggle many face. Mcleanhospital.org defines “Imposter Syndrome” as “someone who experiences repeated feelings or thoughts of incompetence, despite evidence to the contrary.” Triggered by high-stress situations or success-induced overthinking, unaddressed imposter syndrome can escalate, leading to anxiety, depression, and frustration.
Let me share a personal anecdote of my experience facing imposter syndrome.
My Experience with Imposter Syndrome
In 2016, stepping into an IT Management role at a community college brought mixed emotions. While confident in my abilities, being the only minority female on the team stirred a sense of discomfort. This discomfort grew during a leadership meeting where I felt unable to contribute, sparking self-doubt and a barrage of negative questions.
One day, as I was sitting in one of our IT Leadership meetings, the CIO started talking about a vital IT issue affecting our campus. Looking for possible solutions, he started asking the leaders for their input. Everyone immediately began to respond with ideas, technical jargon, processes, you name it. Everyone had a solution, everyone but me.
I silently became frustrated. I couldn’t contribute because I didn’t understand what the rest of the experts were discussing, and I was too ashamed to ask. Instead of figuring it out, I sat back and let them speak.
After the meeting, I came back to my office feeling like crap. I couldn’t explain it; I was just sad. Then, before I knew it, I started questioning myself:
- Why am I here?
- Did they make the right choice?
- Did I make the right choice?
- Am I going to do my best?
- What if I mess up?
- What if they find out that I am not as bright as them?
All these questions and more crossed my mind for the next few days. Although I tried to continue working, the feelings kept hunting me. It was to the point that I ended up finding myself in tears. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but I felt worthless. I knew something was wrong and had to figure out what it was and how to deal with it. I had to confront this self-imposed war to appreciate the opportunity I had earned.
Getting to the Bottom of It
While digging into leadership articles, I discovered imposter syndrome and the symptoms that resonated with my feelings of not deserving my position. It talked about how imposter syndrome was the feeling of not belonging. You begin questioning yourself on your current reality. You start experiencing doubt, fear, frustration, and sometimes sadness because you may not feel you deserve your position.
Reading this hit me hard. Almost everything it talked about I was feeling. I worked hard to get into this new position. I am making more money than ever in my past jobs. I am close to my family. I can provide an affordable education for my children, yet I feel like I don’t deserve any of it!
Sigh… The tears started flowing again.
I had to take a step back.
See, there I go again… Doing it again!
It was happening just like that, all the negative questions hitting me at once. What’s funny is that no one ever told me I was doing anything wrong; it was just me. I was mentally having a war with myself on my values and the opportunity I earned.
Fighting myself in my tears, I realized I had to find a way to address and deal with my feelings. I had to prepare myself to go to war with the enemy and return to a positive mindset.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
In my journey to overcome imposter syndrome, I faced challenges but made determined efforts over the next few weeks. I began by making small changes that would eventually lead to a significant impact. I focused on self-reflection, combating negative thoughts, and building my support system.
Self-Reflection
First, I engaged in self-reflection. I started with this change because self-reflection is powerful. It’s the process of taking time out to really evaluate yourself and how you moved through the day. When you think about it, there is so much stuff that we do and say that we rarely take time to really think about how that affects us and others.
For the self-reflection process, I would take time, possibly at the end of the day or at that exact moment, and think. I’m not gonna lie to you: self-reflection is not always comfortable because you realize a lot about yourself and your decisions. I would start asking myself questions about what went right and wrong. Or, if it was a situation I was dealing with, such as negative thoughts, I would ask myself why I was feeling this way or what the core issue was.
For instance, there was one time when I allowed myself to get so upset with my coworkers that I burst into tears. The situation was frustrating on the surface; however, when I started to self-reflect at home, I realized that that issue was only the surface. There were other things in my life that I have yet to address. Needless to say, I ended up going to see a therapist to talk it out, and it was worth it (we will touch on this later).
Since I started my reflection process, it has opened my eyes to many things I didn’t know about myself and allowed me to heal.
Combat Negative Thoughts with Facts
Never underestimate the power of negative thoughts. They can creep up on you and throw you for a loop. At first, whenever negative thoughts crossed my mind, I would dwell on them and try to fight them. In the end, I would feel worse. Now, I have chosen a different approach: acknowledge, question, and pass them.
Acknowledge
You can’t stop your thoughts, but you can find better ways to deal with them. When I acknowledge my negative thoughts, I take ownership of my thoughts. I identify them and then say, “Yes, I see you, but I don’t accept you”.
Recognizing and addressing negative thought patterns allows you time to process your feelings while acknowledging your strengths and achievements.
Question
If your thoughts continue to bother you, the next step is to question them. You can’t stop thinking. However, it is up to you to accept them as facts. When I am dealing with harboring negative thoughts. I start asking myself questions to validate the thought, such as;
- Is there evidence supporting this thought?
- Am I focusing on the worst-case scenario?
- Have I considered alternative perspectives?
- Are my emotions influencing this thought?
- Will this matter in the long run?
- Is this thought a reflection of a deeper core issue?
Asking these questions when confronted with negative thoughts is a powerful tool for mental well-being. One gains clarity by evaluating the evidence, considering alternative viewpoints, gauging the long-term impact, and identifying the core issue. This process helps break the negativity cycle, creating a more rational and balanced perspective. It also empowers you to challenge irrational thoughts, reducing anxiety and promoting a healthier mindset.
Pass: Letting go of the negative thoughts.
The final step is to release after self-reflecting and asking the necessary questions. This step is pivotal because holding onto negative thoughts risks returning to the same cycle. Letting go can be a challenging yet liberating act. It involves consciously deciding not to allow these thoughts to dictate your emotions and actions.
Consider it like releasing a balloon into the sky – as you let go, the negativity floats away. However, I understand that it’s not always easy. If you find it hard to let go on your own, that’s okay. This is where your support system plays a crucial role. Reach out to them, talk about your feelings, and let their understanding and encouragement be the wind that helps carry those negative thoughts away.
Remember, letting go is a powerful choice, a step towards freeing yourself from the weight of unwarranted self-doubt. Reclaiming control over your thoughts and fostering a healthier, more positive mindset is essential.
Building a Support System
Remember that you are not alone during your journey to healthier thinking. Whether it’s one or two people, having a support system can help you get through rough times and understanding.
I actively sought support by building a network and seeking mentorship and guidance. A therapist was one of the vital support members I added to my team. Contrary to belief, a therapist is an asset, especially when you are in a role dealing with multiple people. There would be times that I would call her because I was dealing with imposter syndrome and staff issues at the same time. It was tough at first, but as I kept talking about my concerns with my therapist and my loved ones, facing situations became easier.
Bonus Step: Address Setbacks
Addressing setbacks during a transition is crucial for personal growth. Remember, you are human, and there will be times that we will slip up. Rather than viewing setbacks as failures, consider them opportunities for learning and resilience.
Reflect on the specific challenges, identify lessons, and adjust your approach accordingly. Embracing setbacks with a positive mindset enables you to adapt, strengthen your skills, and move forward more confidently. It’s fundamental to achieving your goals and navigating transitions with resilience and determination.
Conclusion
In conclusion, overcoming imposter syndrome involves three essential steps: self-reflection, seeking support, and taking proactive measures. Reflecting on negative thought patterns, building a support network, and embracing challenges are pivotal in this transformative process.
I encourage you to embrace setbacks as opportunities for growth and share your experiences, fostering a supportive community. Remember, your journey is unique; every step counts toward personal growth.
Question: Have you dealt with imposter syndrome? How did you handle it?
References
https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/impostor-syndrome
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Mea M. Hampton, PMP, PMP-ACP 